>How Do We Get Past It?

>This will be brief… I’ve been in Denver celebrating Thanksgiving with my children (all but Jon, who’s in Afghanastan) and new granddaughter and came home to long “to do” lists. But when I saw this article that hit the New York Times on Thanksgiving Day, I had to comment on it.

If you’re new to my blog, you might want to check these previous posts for a little back story about Kim Michele Richardson‘s amazing memoir, The Unbreakable Child:

Who Wears the Face of God?

Q & A With The Unbreakable Child: Kim Michele Richardson
, and

The Face of God in Ireland.

As you can tell, I’m passionate about this issue of child abuse, especially by clergy. Children who never have any sense of acceptance or security struggle to ever get past it as adults. (I’m reading Mary Karr’s amazing memoir, Lit, right now, and can’t wait to review it… soon!) At one point Karr asks her therapist how she can ever get past it, and he says, “You’ve got to nurture yourself…. realize you’re not lost. You’re an adult.”

Watching my adopted son, Jason, holding his birth daughter, and seeing how much he loves her and wants to protect her and give her the connectedness he’s always longed for, I often fought back tears while we were visiting him this Thanksgiving. Although Jason wasn’t abused, his pain comes from having been relinquished by his birth mother, and separated from her and his birth sister all these years. I can see his resolve in repairing that breach in his own new little family that he’s growing now. Hopefully Grace won’t ever know that pain and will grow up with the nurturing every child deserves from birth.

Looking for a wonderful Christmas gift for someone who loves to read or just cares deeply about people in general and children in particular? Get them Kim’s book, The Unbreakable Child. It’s full of forgiveness and redemption–just the message the world needs now.

So, how do we get past it? Yes, by forgiving the unforgiveable, but also by holding the abusers, and those who cover for them, accountable.

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