I always struggle with Mother’s Day reflections. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you already know that I have a complicated relationship with my mother. But she becomes nicer as her Alzheimer’s progresses.
This year I’ve thought more about my own children, my role as their adoptive mother, and also about their birth mothers.
So, yesterday I read this article in Parade, “What One Adoptive Mom Would Say to her Son’s Birth Mother” by Susanne Paola Antonetta, author of a new memoir, Make Me a Mother.
Antonetta’s feelings towards her adopted son’s birth mother are quite different from mine, which I wrote about in an essay a few years ago, “The Other Woman.” I guess it just goes to show that mothers (and all humans) are complex beings. And we are different.
We don’t all respond the same to situations. And we need to respect each person’s right to own her emotions, opinions, and responses.
As I watch two of my adopted children raising their own birth children, I find myself filled with joy and thankfulness for both of them.
I know nothing can replace the pain of losing one’s birth parents (and for some, their country of origin, their roots, language, and traditions) but hopefully growing their own precious families is a healing balm.
I am so thankful to be your mother, Jonathan, Jason and Beth. I know I’ve failed you in a million ways, but I will always, always love you.